


Buddy and Sally

by ScoobyDoosGirl



Category: Dick Van Dyke Show
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Backstory, Briefly Mentioned Jerks, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Minor Herman Glimshire/Pickles Sorrell, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Sally Rogers Doesn't Always Have Good Self-Esteem, Some Buddy Sorrell/Pickles Sorrell, Some Herman Glimshire/Sally Rogers, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-11
Updated: 2011-10-11
Packaged: 2019-08-08 16:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16432646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScoobyDoosGirl/pseuds/ScoobyDoosGirl
Summary: An alternate universe story about the relationship of Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers from their first meeting to their wedding.





	1. Chapter 1

“Sincere Amour”—Caroline Duffy (Caroline in the City)

\--

The Sorrells had just moved to [Newburgh](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newburgh,_New_York) with their teenage sons; 16 year old Maurice, and 14 year old Henry, or “Buddy” and “Blackie” as everyone called them. This was not good news for their next door neighbor; timid, 11 year old Sally Rogers.

“Sally what on earth is the matter?” Mrs. Rogers asked her daughter.

“Them,” Sally told her mother, pointing out the window at Buddy and Blackie.

“The Sorrell children? They seem like perfectly nice boys to me. You should go and introduce yourself.”

“They’ll probably dislike me.”

"Introduce yourself anyway."

\--

 “That’s pathetic Buddy!”

“You’re just jealous that you can’t make jokes that good Blackie.”

“Hey who’s that?” Blackie asked looking at someone over Buddy’s shoulder.

Buddy turned around and saw Sally watching them. “Hi,” he greeted her.

Sally waved shyly.

Blackie introduced himself, “I’m Blackie, and that nut standing in front of you is my brother Buddy.”

“S…Sally Rogers,” Sally stammered.

*~~~~*

Several months later:

Sally’s parents were amazed in the change in their daughter since she had met Buddy and Blackie.

“What are your plans today Sally?”

“I’m going to go and play baseball with Buddy and the other guys.”

Mrs. Rogers was glad that her daughter had found friends, but was more than a little concerned that they were all teenage boys. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Maybe you should meet some girls your age.”

Sally sighed, “mom I can take care of myself. Besides, Buddy and Blackie look out for me.

\--

The game was going very well and everyone was having fun until one of the boys decided to flirt with Sally. To begin with no one minded but when he started getting pushy, Buddy and Blackie were at her side in a flash. Blackie planted himself between Sally and the boy, and Buddy pulled Sally away.

“Don’t ever come near her again!” Blackie told him firmly.

“Are you okay, Sal?” Buddy asked.

“I think so. Thanks,” Sally said.

“Nobody hurts our little sister,” Blackie said determined.

“Sister?”

“Yeah, you’re the sister we always wanted,” Buddy answered, “and I promise, I’ll always look out for you.”

\--

When Buddy graduated High School people kept asking if he was going to go to college or join the army. He refused to join the military, and they couldn’t afford college, but when asked why he wasn’t going, he said, “and leave Sally behind? No way."

\--

Blackie however, did leave. He kissed his mother and father then turned to Buddy and Sally.

Blackie kissed Sally’s forehead “Good bye Sis, I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too Blackie.”

He clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “Buddy, take care of Sally for me will you?” The brothers shared a hug before Blackie walked away, taking one last look back at his family. He took a wrong turn after that and became a pool hustler.

\--

Buddy and Sally began looking for work together shortly after she graduated high school, placing highly in her class.

Many people offered to hire Buddy, but no one wanted Sally, believing that the only appropriate jobs for a woman were nurse and secretary. Buddy was horrified, he turned down a number of well paying jobs unless they agreed to hire Sally as well. She finally took a few typing courses so that she could do secretarial duties. The next couple of years Buddy was hired as a writer for comedy shows, Sally was hired to be the secretary. Until they met Alan Brady.

\--

“Wait, you want me to write? I’m not being hired as a secretary again?”

“Yes,” Alan nodded.

“We already have a secretary and….”

“Shut up Mel,” Alan interrupted.

“Yes sir.”

\--

Buddy and Sally spent their first year on the Alan Brady Show working under a head writer named Steve Johnson. When Steve left, Alan hired a new writer Rob Petrie. After some initial misgivings they became very close to Rob and his wife Laura.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-- is breaks between episodes. *** is breaks between sections.
> 
> Dialogue is taken from: Sally and the Lab Technician, Sally is a Girl, Buddy Could You Spare a Job, Hustling the Hustler, Like a Sister, The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally, Jilting the Jilter, Anthony Stone, and Dear Sally Rogers. There is also a brief mention of Stacey Petrie Part 1.

Buddy and Sally both dated occasionally but never anything serious. Until Buddy met the woman he almost married. Her name was Fiona Conway but everyone called her ‘Pickles.’ Pickles was a show girl, right down to the personality. She wasn’t stupid but she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.

“Hey Buddy, you want to go get dinner?” Sally asked.

“I can’t Sal; I’m taking Pickles to a play.”

“Buddy, you’ve been out with her every night for months. I never get to see you outside of work anymore.”

Buddy sighed, “Sally. I really like Pickles. And… I think she could be the one.”

He gave her a one armed hug and left the room. Sally sat down hard. _Buddy thinks Pickles is the one? I thought they were just kidding around._

She didn’t know why the realization bothered her so much; she just knew that it did.

***

Rob and Laura had tried to introduce Sally to Laura's shy cousin Thomas, things hadn't gone so well.

“Hi fellows,” Sally said sadly as she walked in.

Buddy was on full alert, Sally was almost never sad, “what are you so happy about? Come on pep down.”

“I guess I ate too much last night. Any phone calls?”

“No”

“Are you sure?”

Buddy tried again, “Hey, Rob told me you were in delightful form last night.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Sally said softly, “‘Ol’ life of the party Sal’ jokes for any occasion. What’s the matter with you two?”

“We’re just trying to pep you up.”

“You don’t seem to feel like making jokes today.”

“Oh I wanna make jokes, gotta make jokes, didn’t I make a lot of great jokes last night Rob? Oh boy Buddy, you should have seen me, I was a small riot. I was so funny, I was so funny, Cousin Thomas laughed so hard he almost smiled.”

She started to cry, Buddy was really worried.

“I was so funny, I couldn’t stand myself!” She finished, pounding her fist on the desk, she got up and ran out.

\--

Buddy picked up the phone, “Hello?”

“Buddy guess what.”

“Rob?”

“Thomas just left; he said he had a great time with Sally. They’re going to the movies tonight.”

“She’s okay then? Thank goodness.”

***

Buddy stared, Rob was holding the door for Sally, pulling her chair out for her, offering to carry the typewriter so she didn’t have to, and complimenting everything she did. Rob had always treated Sally like one of the guys, what was going on?

“What’s with all the compliments all of a sudden?” He asked.

“I just think we should appreciate having a bright attractive girl around the office,” Rob said.

_This doesn't look good, what on earth could have inspired all this...oh no!_

\--

“Mel, I’ve gotta talk to you. It’s very important, it’s about Rob.”

“What about Rob?” Mel asked

“Sally and Rob, where do you think they are now?” Buddy said, upset.

“How should I know?”

“Out to lunch.”

“What’s funny about that?” Mel was confused.

“I’m not with them am I? And when I said I’d like to go along, Rob said, ‘oh no, two’s company three’s a crowd’. He invited her, like a fellow invites a girl.”

“Like a fellow invites a girl?” Mel asked.

“Yeah, you know like, ‘would you care to have lunch with me today doll face?’”

 “It must have been a practical joke.”

“There have been other things, he keeps holding her chair for her, nine times last week he lit her cigarette, twice he admired her dress, and three times her legs.” Buddy had admired her legs as well, but never said so to her face.

“This is serious, “Mel conceded. “You’ve got to do something about it, talk to Sally.”

“All right, I’ll talk to Sally when they come back; you get Rob out of the room.”

\--

“Sally, you gotta give him up.”

Sally stared at Buddy, _what is he talking about? I don't have a "him."_ She spoke, “Listen, I don’t know who ‘him’ is, but if I got him, wild horses couldn’t make me give him up.”

“Will you stop playing games with me? You can’t do this to her.”

 _It's finally happened, Buddy's gone round the bend._ “Her? My ‘him’s’ got a ‘her’?”

“Come on, don’t play Little Miss Innocence with me, you can’t do this to Laura.”

“I haven’t…” Sally gasped as it dawned on her, “Laura!? She’s the ‘her’? Then Rob’s the… You think Rob and…”

“Yes and Mel thinks so too, so does everybody else who’s seen Rob buzzing around you the past few days.”

 _That's ridiculous, me and Rob, what's next? Mel?_ “You think Rob has a…”

“A crush on you yeah. Personally I don’t understand it.” _Actually I do._ “But it’s not my problem, it’s your problem and you’ve gotta do something about it. Unless you _want_ to break up a happy marriage.”

“You think I could come between Laura and…”

“No, I don’t, but evidently Rob does. You gotta do something about it before it’s too late.”

_Yeah, and I know exactly what to do._

\--

“Well see you around fellows,”

“Buddy you don’t have to leave on my account. Rob and I don’t have any secrets. Do we Rob?” Sally added seductively.

Buddy winced. _Oh no, she’s fallen for him._

“Thanks a lot Rob,” she said kissing his cheek.

Sally walked out of the room.

“Wha…wha…what’s with her?” Rob stammered.

Buddy glared furiously at him, “to me it looks a lot like love,” He stormed out the door after her.

\--

“Honey, we’ll let Laura have Ritchie if we can have the hi-fi set,” came Rob’s voice.

“Of course sweetheart,” replied Sally, “can I have the insurance transferred to my name?”

“Anything you say sweetheart.”

“What about the wedding?”

**_Wedding?_ **

“We’ll have Mel as best man…”

_Mel? But **I’m** their best friend._

“And Buddy can be our little, flower girl!”

_Wha…Aaah!_

The door opened and Buddy almost fell over. He glared at Sally and Rob, “Do you mind?” and closed the door.

Sally grinned at Rob, _mission accomplished._

***

"You're looking at the new head writer of the Danny Howard show!" Buddy said grinning.

Sally looked at the floor, "Well Buddy it's wonderful....I think." _Buddy's leaving, no, he...he can't._

Buddy looked confused, "I hope that's just about how you're gonna miss me around here. I mean that was the toughest thing about accepting this new job."

"Well of course we're going to miss you Buddy," Sally said, "I mean _if_ you go."

"Buddy you really want to do this?" Rob asked.

Buddy nodded, "This is what I want."

"Well...If this is what you want Buddy," Sally said taking his face in her hands, and kissing him on the cheek. "I'm sure gonna miss you around here. You big nut."

Buddy smiled at her, "I'll miss you too."

***

"Boy it sure was tough writing this week's script without Buddy," Sally complained. "You know something Rob? I sure miss that slob."

_I  miss him more than Rob thinks. Boy if I could just get Buddy back I'd... What's the matter with me? I shouldn't be thinking like this about Buddy, he's my best friend, my brother, and that's all he's ever been._

\--

"You got your job back Buddy!"

Buddy leapt to his feet, "I did?"

Rob nodded, "You did."

Buddy threw his arms around Sally and hugged her.

***

“Buddy, how’s Sally?” Blackie asked.

“Better than I am,” Buddy snapped, “and before you ask, no! I’m not letting you see her.”

“Buddy, she’s my little sister.”

“Yeah, and I promised to look out for her, which includes keeping no good pool hustlers away from her!”

\--

“Boy now I know who my friends are. Blackie was here and you let him get away without even telling me! I’ll never forgive you for that.”

“Sally I….”

“Didn’t it ever occur to you that I’d like to see him? I know he’s your brother, but I’ve always considered him mine too.”

“You don’t want to see him Sal.”

“Why not?”

“I never told you, but for the past five years he’s been turning up out of the blue to beg me for money, and then when I give it to him, he disappears again. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

\--

“Sally?”

“Yeah Buddy?”

“Blackie wants to see you.”

“Oh really? What happened to, ‘you don’t want to see him’?”

“I did,” came a voice from the doorway.

 Sally turned, “Blackie!!”

“Sally!!!”

Sally ran to Blackie and threw her arms around him.

He hugged her back, “It’s good to see you again sis.” Blackie turned to Buddy, “I see you’ve been taking care of my little sister.”

Buddy blushed, much to the amusement of Blackie and Sally.

***

“How about I take you all out to dinner?” The week’s guest star Rick Vallone asked.

“You don’t have to take all of us.” Sally said flirting.

“Uh no that’s right. Buddy didn’t you say you had something to do tonight?” Rob said catching on.

“No,” Buddy said firmly. _Keeping Sally out of trouble includes away from heartbreakers._

Sally glared at him. _Don't get in my way Buddy! I've got a chance with this guy._

“Oh yeah, I do,” he said quickly.

“Listen fellows, if you don’t hear from us in a week, mind your own business,” Sally said as she pulled Rick out the door.

_This is **not** going to be pretty._

\--

Buddy looked at Rob like he’d lost his mind. “Rick is gonna pretend he’s drunk so Sally’ll dump him?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Boy I wish I could see that.”

\--

“Oh boy are you a dandy fixer-upper. Now she’s more nuts about him than ever.” Buddy said glaring at Rob.

Rick came in saying that he’d made a date with Sally.

“Why?” Rob asked.

“I treated her horribly and she said she understood me, and a girl with that much understanding, I gotta get to know better.” Rick said, walking out the door whistling.

Rob and Buddy gapped at each other.

_Oh no._

A few moments later Sally and Rick walked back into the room laughing hysterically.

“Oh boy, you fellows should have seen the looks on your faces.”

“That was a joke?”

“Of course, do you know what she actually said to me? ‘Rick cut it out, I can tell you’re faking’.”

“You were faking this whole time?”

“No, I really did like Rick, but after dinner at Rob and Laura’s it did become a joke.”

***

"I thought I could thaw out that sirloin and you could all come up for the barbeque," Rob said.

Buddy and Sally spoke at the same time, "We’re busy."

Rob raised an eyebrow, " _We’re_ busy?"

"I…I mean, I’m busy," Sally stammered.

"Yeah and Pickles and me we’re busy," Buddy added.

"I didn’t mean to panic you guys, I just thought if you and Sally and Pickles weren’t doing anything... You could even bring a date Sal."

"Thanks Rob, but my date already has something specially planned."

"Yeah, Pickles and Sally, they’re coming with me, the three of us, and she’s my date."

_His date? Isn't that gonna make Rob think...Nah. Rob wouldn't think that would he?_

"Yeah, I’m his date," Sally said.

"Now look couldn’t you cancel it?" Rob asked.

"No, we’ve been planning this for weeks," Buddy told him. "I made all the arrangements for the three of us, Pickles and me and Sally. We’re going out to the island."

"What’s on the island?"

"Water polo," Buddy said. "It’s a great game and the wildest."

Rob looked at them suspiciously, "yeah, sounds wild. Well you guys have a…nice time." He walked out the door,

Sally turned to Buddy and slapped his shoulder. "‘Water polo’? Where’d you get that one?"

Buddy flinched. "What you want me to tell him?" He asked. "Deep sea diving? I suppose you want me to tell him what we’re really doing?"

"Ah you better not."

"Yeah, what he doesn't know won’t hurt him."

"Hey listen Buddy, are you ashamed of what we’re doing?" Sally asked worriedly

Buddy shook his head. "That’s not the idea, we got our own lives to live, whatever we do outside this office is our own business. It’s nobody else’s business, not even Rob’s."

\--

"How’d uh, how’d the water polo go?" Rob asked suspiciously.

Buddy glanced up, "Uh fine, fine, thanks, it was great, our team won."

"Uh huh, and did Pickles have a good time?" Rob asked.

Sally turned around to look at him. "Yeah, uh. Rob, listen, the truth is Buddy and I…"

"And Pickles had a wonderful time," Buddy interrupted.

He and Sally glared at each other and turned back to the script.

Rob sighed. "Anybody want any coffee?" He walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Sally hit the desk. "He knows, he knows we’re keeping a secret from him, I think we ought to tell him."

Buddy shook his head. "No, no, he thinks we’re writing for some other show, let him. We had a wonderful weekend didn’t we?"

Sally started to smile, "Yeah I gotta admit we did." _It was wonderful, just like when we were kids and we used to put on shows together. These weekends have been like things used to be, before he met Pickles._

Buddy grinned, "Yeah and next weekend is gonna be even better, you’ll see."

"You know Buddy, I’ve been to Herbie’s Hiawatha Lodge before, but it was never any fun. You being there, made all the difference in the world."

"You’re my favorite female kiddo. Next week it’s you and me again huh baby?"

_Did he just call me baby?_

_Did I just call her baby? Boy, I need to be more careful or she'll notice something's up._

"Yeah, but Buddy, what about Pickles?" Sally asked.

Buddy shrugged, "Ah I’ll get rid of her."

\--

"Well I'm certainly glad to see Rob was wrong about what was going on," Laura commented.

Sally looked up, "Oh? What did you think was happening Rob?"

Laura laughed, "He thought you two were seeing each other secretly."

Buddy looked at Rob, "You mean you thought we were..."

Rob nodded; Buddy and Sally looked at each other and burst out laughing.

_Good thing he hasn't really noticed that I have feelings for Sally._

_Boy I hope he hasn't realized that I have feelings for Buddy._

***

Rob had just told Buddy about the fellow Sally had met the night before, a total jerk.

"Good morning gentlemen," Sally said, as she waltzed into the office. "Rob I just love you. I want to thank you for introducing me to the sweetest, most honest guy I ever met."

Buddy was confused, "I thought you introduced her to Freddie White. You mean you liked that guy?"

Sally laughed "'Liked him?' He's replacing Herman Glimscher as my number one fellow.  He had me eating out of his hand and it was delicious! If I play my cards right, that boy is gonna be the future Mr. Sally Rogers."

Buddy groaned, _not another fellow, can't Sally ever stick with one guy?_

\--

"You really think he'll marry her just to get her to write for him?" Buddy asked.

Rob nodded, "He said that to me in those words."

"Boy that's a new one. Buddy said, "An honest louse."

Sally walked in, "I might not be around much longer. Hey Rob, Buddy...We're getting married."

Buddy stood up quickly looking horrified. _She can't be serious, he's all wrong for her, she needs someone who loves her for her, not for her writing skills._

"Well?" Sally asked, "Aren't you going to say congratulations or something?"

Rob and Buddy gritted their teeth, "Congratulations Sal."

Sally rolled her eyes, "Well don't jump up and down for joy."

"But Sally he's...." Rob started only to have Sally cut him off.

"I know, I know, he wants me to write for him for free. But you know what they say about the love of a good woman. I think I can help him, and I think he can help me."

_I can't believe Sally's okay with this. Boy you think you know a person. What's wrong with her? The Sally Rogers I know would never accept a guy who didn't love her._

\--

"We're gonna write him a great act," Rob said.

Buddy looked at Rob like he'd lost his mind. "I wouldn't write him a greeting card."

"Didn't you see the way his eyes lit up at the mention of an act?" Rob asked.

"Who wants to light up his beady little eyes?" _He's going to break Sally's heart and you want to help him?_

"Don't you see? If we write him a new act he's liable to lose interest in Sally. The worse thing that can happen is that we're proven wrong," Rob explained.

Buddy smiled as he caught on, "and if we're wrong it means he really cares for Sally!"

\--

Sally sighed, "Oh Buddy, why do all the fellows who are interested in me have to be after something?"

Buddy shook his head, "I don't know Sal."

"Just once I'd like to have a fellow who's interested in _me._ Not in how good a writer I am."

"There _are_ fellows who are interested in you for you."

"Oh yeah? Like who?"

Buddy faltered as the word "me" sprang to mind. "I can't say that," he told himself firmly. "Herman Glimscher," he said finally.

Sally perked up, "Hey, you're right. Herman may not be the marrying kind, but he sure likes me."

She kissed Buddy on the cheek, "Thanks Buddy, I feel better now. Think I'll go call Herman." She walked off smiling.

Buddy sighed and leaned back in his chair, _here we go again._

***

“Herman tried to fight Stacey?” Buddy was shocked. Sally’s boyfriend Herman was not exactly athletic, while Rob’s brother Stacey had just got out of the army.

Sally nodded, smiling, “He was going to fight him for me.”

“He honestly thought you were dating Stacey Petrie?”

“Yes. And he didn’t like it one bit,” Sally had a somewhat dazed grin, which worried Buddy.

“Sal, just how much do you like Herman?”

“I don’t know, most of the time I think I’m only dating him because no one else will date me, and then he does something like that. It makes me wonder if I might really be falling for him.”

***

"What are you gonna wear to the wedding?" Buddy asked.

Rob glanced up, "Wedding?"

Buddy nodded, "Sure, he's crazy about her." _Maybe she's found a great guy this time._

Rob looked at him, "all you have as a clue is one orchid."

"Aloha's Hawaiian," Buddy said, "They were in Jamaica. Guy's so nuts about her he doesn't know where he was."

Sally walked into the room.

Buddy gave her a hug, "Sal!!"

"Buddy!"

"Tony sent you an orchid," Rob told her.

"So who's Tony?" Buddy asked.

"A fellow."

Buddy tried again, "What kind of fellow is he?"

Instead of answering Sally said, "I'd better go put this in the icebox." and walked out the door.

Buddy looked at Rob, "Sally ignored the subject."

"She's never been so secretive before," Rob commented.

"Don't worry Rob," Buddy said setting his jaw, "I'll figure out what's going on." _If he's done anything to hurt her..._

\--

"Aren't you gonna tell us about him?" Buddy asked.

Sally looked at him, "What do you want me to say? That's he's rich and he's handsome and he's crazy about me?"

The phone rang and Sally answered it, "Hi Tony. Well where are you now? No no, you stay there. I'll be right down." She ran out of the room.

"Every time Tony's name gets mentions she panics," Rob commented."

"Boy I wonder what he does for a living," Buddy said.

"Maybe he isn't tall and handsome," Rob suggested.

"You mean he could be short and dumpy like me?" Buddy said. "Maybe he's not so bad after all." _If she likes short dumpy guys could that mean...Nah._

A man walked in, "Is this Sally Rogers' office?"

"Yes it is," Rob told him, "aren't you supposed to be meeting her in the lobby?"

"I don't like waiting in lobbies," he replied.

Tony walked over to the desk, picked up Sally's coat, took a box out of his pocket, and showed them the fancy pin in it. "A little surprise for Sally."

Sally walked in and grabbed Tony's arm, "Let's go." Sally and Tony left the room.

"Well he's not short and dumpy that's for sure," Rob said.

"Did you notice the way he dresses?" Buddy asked, "Very neat. And that big white carnation. What does that mean to you?"

"He looks like a floor walker," Rob said.

"In a speakeasy."

"You really think Sally's boyfriend is up to something underhand?" Rob asked.

"I don't know, but we owe it to her to find out." _And if he is..._

\--

"Is Sally back yet?" Rob asked Buddy.

"No but I've got something to show you." Buddy replied handing him a card.

Rob read the card, "Anthony Stone, is that Sally's Tony?"

Buddy nodded.

"Did you call the number?" Rob asked

Buddy shook his head, "No I was waiting for you."

"We have no business prying into Sally's life. Besides Laura's pumping her right now. Why can't you wait till we hear from Laura?" Rob objected, "There's no need to interfere right now."

Buddy dialed the number and handed the phone to Rob, "who's interfering?"

Rob took the phone, "Is Anthony Stone in?....This isn't his office?...This is his home? And his wife. Thank you very much Mrs. Stone. "

Rob hung up the phone.

Buddy hit the desk, "He's married! I think we should tell her."

Rob agreed, "So do I, she has got to be told! But not now."

\--

Sally looked at the flowers Tony had left for her, "Roses? Oh that sweet man. Isn't he a darling?" She walked over to the trash can and threw them out, "they might have been poisoned, or better yet I should poison them and send them back to the rat."

"Gee we're sorry Sal," Buddy said.

"We just didn't know how to tell you," Rob added.

"I was so mad I wanted to strangle him last night. The valet took the car, splashed it trough a puddle and Count Anthony's white walls got dirty. So he grabbed this poor kid by the lapels, I thought he was gonna belt him."

Buddy was shocked, "Over white walls? What a temper."

Sally looked at him, "Ivan the Terrible could take lessons from him. The door man, the hat check girl, the waiter, me. No asking, no thanking, just orders."

"I'm guessing it's over then?" Rob asked.

Sally nodded, "Of course it's over."

\--

Sally sighed, "Oh boy, I finally find someone who's interest in me and the marrying kind, and what happens? He's a married Nazi. Why do I have such rotten luck Buddy?"

Buddy patted her shoulder, "Someone'll come along Sal. I mean look at me, I didn't have much luck before I found Pickles.

***

"You've been on The Stevie Parsons show a dozen times why are you suddenly nervous?" Rob asked Sally.

"I've used up all my best jokes."

"So just dazzle them with your beauty," Buddy suggested.

Sally smiled, "Aw thanks Buddy."

Buddy blushed and quickly tried to cover his tracks.

\--

Sally was insulting Herman again. Buddy laughed but he was starting to feel sorry for the guy. He understood what it was like to have feelings for Sally.

\--

"Why don't you use some of those crazy commercial jokes?" Buddy asked, giving an example.

Sally jumped up, "That's it! Buddy I love you, that's brilliant!"

Buddy backed away trying to cover how red his face was, "Woah it wasn't that good."

"Yeah but the idea of a commercial. I'll advertise for a husband on television!"

_Oh brother, is she ever going to give up on this plan of hers?_

\--

Sally read the letter out loud "Dear lovely Sally, I know the shaving lotion is awful, but if it's caused you to open this it's done its job. I know your marriage proposal was all in fun. So I'm not proposing, merely confessing. You seem to me, witty, bright, sensible, generous, and altogether rare.  Something genuine about you touches something real in me. Whatever happens, thanks for being Sally Rogers."

\--

Everyone's jaw dropped. The mysterious note writer was none other than Herman Glimscher himself.

"Herman did you write this letter?" Sally asked"

Herman nodded, "Twice, mother tore up the first one."

Sally smiled, "Well she's not gonna get her hands on this one.  Oh Herman we've learned an awful lot about you tonight. You're full of surprises aren't you? You wrote this beautiful letter, and you defied your mother, and you had the nerve to come on national television."

It looked like Sally had finally found who she wanted to be with. _So why aren't I happy for her?_ Buddy wondered.

\--

"Listen Rob, you and Laura don't need to come along. I don't need a chaperone with Herman."

Herman agreed, "No sir, Sally, and I don't need a chaperone," he turned and kissed Sally hard.

Sally gasped, "Maybe I _do_ need a chaperone."

Herman smiled, "Oh that's alright Sally. Mother's out in the car."

Sally started crying as they walked out. Buddy laughed; maybe it wasn't over quite yet.

***

“Sally, can I talk to you?”

“Sure Pickles what is it?” Sally asked curiously.

“I’m going to break up with Buddy.”

Sally was confused. “Why? Has he done something?”

“No!” Pickles said hurriedly, “it’s just that I think I’ve fallen for someone else.”

“Who could you possibly like more than Buddy?”

“Herman,” Pickles spoke so softly that Sally almost didn’t hear her.

“ _My_ Herman? Herman _Glimscher_?”

“Yes. Oh I feel just terrible.”

“You’ve fallen for Herman?”

Pickles burst into tears, “I’m so sorry.”

“Pickles it’s all right. I…I have something to confess too.”

Pickles looked up, “What?”

Sally turned away. “I’ve loved Buddy for years,” she admitted.

“So you mean if I break up with Buddy and you break up with Herman, I could have Herman and you could be with Buddy?”

“Yeah, that’s…no.”

“Why not?”

“I couldn’t tell him. I mean, what would I do? Walk into the office and say ‘morning Buddy. Oh by the way, I’m madly in love with you’?”

***

“This is about Buddy isn’t it?”

“Herman I…”

“Sally, I know. I’ve seen the two of you. I’m amazed you stayed with me as long as you did.”

“Wha…what?”

“Even when mother first introduced us I knew there was someone else.”

“I’ve tried to stop loving Buddy, but I never could.”

“Sally, I do love you.”

“I wish I could tell you I love you too, and if it weren’t for Buddy…”

“I know. Sweetie, you are my first choice, but I’m sure there must be other women around.”

“You’ll find someone Herman. I’m sure of it.” She kissed his cheek and walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

“How about another husband and wife joke?” Buddy asked, “Alan says, ‘why is the dog sleeping in my bed?’ And his wife says, ‘I thought that was you.’”

Sally couldn’t take it anymore, she got up from where she was sitting at the desk, walked over to Buddy, and kissed him full on the mouth. He froze, shocked, as her lips touched his.

Sally pulled away quickly, “That was err…” she began, trying to make a joke.

Buddy closed the distance between them, put his arms around her, and pressed his mouth to hers.

The door opened and Mel came in. Mel stopped in his tracks when he saw Buddy and Sally standing in the middle of the office, kissing.

Mel cleared his throat loudly. Buddy and Sally jumped apart guiltily, and tried to act as if nothing had happened.

“So uh, Alan says um, hello folks and uh…”

\--

 “Rob why are you so late?”

“I had to take Sally home.”

“Couldn’t Buddy drive her home like he usually does?”

“I can’t understand it Laura, something happened in that office this morning and they’ve both been acting strangely all day. Mel knows what’s going on and he won’t tell me. All he keeps saying is ‘it’s their story to tell Rob, not mine.’”

\--

For the next couple of days Buddy and Sally were very quiet and nervous around each other, until Rob finally spoke to them, “I don’t know what’s going on, but we can’t write a show like this. I’ll go wait in the hallway, you two talk.” He went out into the hallway.

Buddy and Sally looked at each other uncomfortably.

“Um n…nice weather we’re h…having,” Sally stammered nervously.

“Yeah, s…sunny.”

Sally sighed, “Buddy look, Rob’s right, we can’t go on like this, we’ll never get anything done.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I say we just forget the whole thing happened.”

“Buddy, I can’t forget it happened, I liked it.”

Buddy looked at her, surprised, “you, you liked it?”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for years.”

Buddy perked up at her words, “you have?”

“Yes! I love you, you idiot,” Sally turned away, not wanting to look at him anymore.

“Sally,” Buddy began.

Sally looked at him.

“I love you too.”

Sally’s eyes widened as Buddy leaned in and kissed her gently.

Sally broke the kiss, opened the door, and called “Okay Rob you can come in now.”

\--

“All right let’s get to work and get this done so we can go.”

“Hot date tonight Sal?” Rob asked conversationally.

“Of course.”

“With who?”

“This clown,” Sally answered gesturing towards Buddy.

Rob sat down hard. Buddy and Sally burst into laughter at the look of shock on his face.

“You, you’re kidding right? This is a joke,” Rob stammered, “You can’t have really meant you had a date with Buddy.”

“What’s wrong with Buddy?” Sally asked.

“Yeah what’s wrong with Buddy?” Buddy echoed.

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” Rob tried to explain, “It’s just, well Buddy you aren’t Sally’s type.”

“My type,” Sally scoffed. My type is anyone who’s single and…”

“Still breathing,” Buddy interrupted. Sally elbowed him.

\--

“Well I found out what’s been bothering Buddy and Sally,” Rob told Laura.

Laura looked up from the dishes she was drying, “oh really, what?”

“Sally has a date tonight, and do you know who she’s going out with?” Rob asked.

“Not Buddy?”

Rob nodded.

“Oh Rob you’re kidding,” Laura said shocked. “Sally said her latest fellow would surprise me but I never would have expected it to be Buddy.”

“Well what do we do about it?”

Laura was stunned, “Nothing Rob.”

“What do you mean ‘nothing Rob’?” Rob asked indignantly.

“I mean _nothing_. Rob there is no reason why they shouldn’t date. Besides, I think it’s sweet.”

“You think it’s sweet? Laura, one of them is bound to get hurt.”

“I think they’re very well matched, Buddy is almost the only person who can’t get scared off by Sally’s jokes, and she sure isn’t bothered by his.”

\--

Several months later:

“So a man and a woman walk into a restaurant and the man says to the woman….” Buddy paused for a second and took a deep breath, “Will you marry me?”

Sally looked at him, “that’s the punch line?”

Buddy got down on one knee, “no that’s the straight line.”

Sally gasped, “Oh Buddy. Yes!”

\--

The doorbell rang and Laura went to answer it, “Buddy, Sally! Come in."

Rob walked into the living room, “Hello you two.”

“Hi Rob.”

“Oh, hi Rob.”

The four sat down; there was awkward silence for a moment.

Finally, Laura broke the silence, “So what brings you all the way out here?”

“We have something to tell you. Tell them Buddy.”

“No you tell them Sal.”

“No you tell them.”

“No you.”

“Would one of you please tell us what’s going on?” Rob insisted.

“We’re getting married.” Sally said, showing them her ring.

Laura practically leapt out of her chair and hugged first Sally then Buddy. Rob looked stunned for a moment, “wow, congratulations.”

\--

 “Hey Mel I just realized,” Buddy started, “You don't have a bald spot. You have a hair spot!"

Sally leaned over and slapped him gently on the shoulder, the diamond on her ring glittered as the light hit it, Mel stared.

“Look at that Mel,” Buddy joked, “you finally found something with less hair than you.”

Mel looked at Sally, “you chose _him_?” he asked incredulously. Turning toward Buddy, he added “Yech.” He shook his head looking bewildered, “I better go tell Alan.”

The next evening, views of The Alan Brady Show were surprised to hear Alan announce, “And I just learned that two of my staff writers: Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers are getting married. Congratulations. You two had better work extra hard to make up for any time you miss or I’ll forbid the wedding.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is mentioned several times on the show that Buddy is Jewish. Sally's religion is never stated, but I know more about Christian marriage customs so I chose to combine the two for this chapter.

Sally you look beautiful," Laura gushed.

"Thanks Laura," Sally smiled, "I am kinda nervous though. I keep thinking about how Rob didn't make it to your wedding the first time, and I almost expect something like that to happen now."

"Sally that's ridiculous."

"I know, I know, but I can't help it."

“You look funny with a white bow Aunt Sally,” Ritchie commented as he walked in.

Laura shushed him quickly, shooting an apologetic look at Sally, who laughed.

\--

"It's time, are you ready Buddy?" Rob asked.

Buddy nodded, afraid to speak.

The music began and Sally's bridesmaids, Laura, Millie, and Blackie's wife entered. Then came Sally herself, looking happier than anyone had ever seen her before. Buddy stared, he had never seen Sally look so beautiful.

As she reached the head of the church she smiled at him and mouthed "I love you."

Buddy smiled back "I love you too."

"Maurice, do you take Sally Rogers as your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Sally, do you take Maurice Sorrell as your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do"

"I am my beloved's"

"and my beloved is mine."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Maurice Sorrell."

Rob and Laura handed them each a wine glass, they each took a sip and smashed the glasses.

\--

Rob’s Speech:

            "When I first started working with Buddy and Sally I thought they must be married. They worked so well together, they even finished each other's jokes. It seemed to me that they could read each other's thoughts with just a glance. I was shocked to learn that they weren't even dating. They were just the best of friends, always there for each other.

            I'll admit to being a little skeptical when they first told me they were dating. At first I thought they were kidding, and then I was terrified that it would end badly, and I would lose them, both as coworkers and as friends.

            But now I see that I was wrong and that they are perfectly suited for each other, and I couldn't think of anyone more perfect for either of them.

            To Buddy and Sally Sorrell. Forever.”

\--

 Blackie’s Speech:

“I shouldn’t be doing this, Buddy’s the funny one.

Anyway, being his younger brother I’ve known the groom since he was two years old, and if you think he’s small now… Okay, okay. I was there the day Buddy and Sally met; Sally was 11 and the shyest girl I’d ever seen. Buddy was 16, and he and I were anything but shy. You wouldn’t think a shy eleven year old would become best friends with a couple of outgoing teenagers but that was what happened.

            It didn’t happen all at once of course, Sally was scared of Buddy and me at first, and even when we did become friends she was more our little sister than anything. Years later I still considered her my baby sister, but I suspected Buddy’s feelings for Sally were not brotherly.

            For reasons I’m not gonna get into, I didn’t see them for many years. When I finally saw the two of them again, I could tell that he still loved her as much as I love my wife.

            Buddy, you made the right choice pal, no one would have been a better match for you than she is. Sally: I’d say welcome to the family, but you’re already part of it, I love you sis, congratulations.”

Blackie raised his glass: “To Buddy and Sally, my brother and sister.”

\-- 

Alan’s Speech:

“I’m Alan Brady, host of _The Alan Brady Show_ which has won 5 Emmys and countless other awards. But of course you all know that. I _am_ the most famous variety show host in the world after all…”

“Alan, this is supposed to be about Sally and…” Mel interrupted until Alan cut him off.

“Shut up Mel. As I was saying, I am the most famous host in history, and a creative genius, but I will admit that I have a very talented writing staff. I handpicked them of course. The original head writer Steve Johnson was good but didn’t stick around very long, he was the only one I didn’t pick. My staff hired him while I was busy interviewing Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers. They and Rob Petrie are the best writing staff in the business and _I_ was the one who got them before someone else did. But no matter how good they are. I will fire them if their work quality drops.

To me! I mean, uh to Buddy and Sally Sorrell of course.”

\--

“So Sal,” Rob started, “how does it feel to finally be married?” Laura elbowed him.

“I think I liked it better when I was single.” Buddy looked hurt at his wife’s words.

“Sally why?” Laura asked.

“What do I have to joke about now?”

Buddy and Sally burst out laughing.

\--

Mel looked at Buddy and Sally from where he was dancing with his wife.

“When I heard they were engaged I couldn’t understand why she would choose him, but now I see that they really do love each other.”

\--

“You’re supposed to throw your bouquet Sally.”

“I know, there’s just so few single women here.”

“Throw it anyway,” Buddy told her. He leaned in and whispered, “I think Pickles wants to catch it.”

Sally smiled, nodded, and tossed the flowers toward Pickles, who caught them.

\--

Buddy and Sally were slow dancing and stealing kisses.

“I’ve never seen Sally so happy,” Rob told Laura.

“And Buddy has the same look you had on _our_ wedding day,” Laura said.

"They're very cute together."

"Rob? The rabbit died."

\--

Pickles watched the bride and groom dance and sighed.

“Are you all right? I mean, that could have been you.”

Pickles turned around and met the eyes of Herman Glimscher. He saw that she was smiling.

“Look at them Herman, they were made for each other.”

“Do you want to dance?”

"I'd love to."

He took her hand and they started towards the dance floor.

Buddy nudged Sally and pointed toward Herman and Pickles, "what do you think of that?"

Sally smiled, "I think they'll be all right."

\--

Buddy grinned, "A man once said to his wife, ‘No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

Sally laughed and smiled at her husband, “Buddy, you’re a nut, but that’s why I love you.”

“Nah you love me because I’m gorgeous.” Buddy smirked, then he became serious, “I love you too Sal.”


End file.
